Getting Married!

I feel it's so unreal that my sister is getting married! Maybe we have been knowing each other for 30 years (since the year she was born), I can't picture that my little sister now is getting hitched with someone and she has really grown up! Grown up as in having more and new responsibilities and change in the way of thinking and solving issues.

Anyway, I'm happy for her and wish her all the best! :D

Fcuk up (case 4)

Hate it so much when you are just claiming and taking your own money and someone has to show you her bitchy face! It is not like I'm taking the money from her pocket, I am just taking money which every employee is entitled for!

Show your professionalism and make people respect you as a manager! BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Betrayal

Once, he told me this.. "I will not betray my current relationship before starting a new one...". At that point of time, I took it for real, I trusted him... I thot he was kind enough not to hurt the woman he loved by loving her whole heartly and not having an affair with another woman. Belief and reality is two different thing, belief is just an assumption, it does not hurt. Reality teaches you what is cruelty and you get "burnt" at the same time as a token for "digging" the truth which was meant to be hidden.

For the unlucky ones, one time experience is enough to last you for the rest of your life. It happened to me before, I am so afraid of the heartbroken feel, the insecure feeling, doubt and worries of being betray again...

I just couldn't take it anymore...

Transition

Everything will be different from July onwards. New department, new superior, new jobscope, new challenges and new expectation.

I am not sure will I be able to adapt this "revolution" but I bet it would be an exciting one. I am muddle up between taking up new changes and pursue new jobs in other companies.

I have mentioned many times before, eventhough I am holding an executive title yet my jobflow is more to doing junior stuff. I had 2 busy superiors whom are "too busy" to teach me new stuff and thus there's no room of improvement and everything is stagnant and monotonous.

Now, I will be learning new stuff, doing new scope, everything will be new. I will have chance to brush up management skill in a proper way which I think is good for me in long run...

Make up your mind!#@$^%*&

Confused

I'm so confused right now! My mind is mixed up between friendship and love affair...

When Samantha's superior saw her resume on her pc, she directly confess to her. Eventhough Samantha was trying to deny by saying she's not looking for a job and nothing is going on, she doesn't need to speculate. I agreed with her superior when she says "Silly you, I can't pretend not knowing and wait until everything is firmed then only ask, by then it will be too late."

Yes, I can't wait until everything is "rigid" then only voice out. At that point of time, I am just asking for reason "why" but not solution "how". Everything will be too late to find out, to identify with, to resolve - it's over.

Think wise.

Alone

It's been a while since my last blog - busy, lazy and no mood.

Drastic changed in my company in this year after I've been working at here for more than 6 years! Colleagues left 1 by 1, especially the close ones! I don't hear laughters anymore in the office compared to years back when I really enjoyed working with them... Now, it's all about work, work and work. So monotonous, so lonely and so demoralised.

Should I stay or leave...? =/

Pressurized 2

Many of my friends said working in Singapore is very stressful.

In the past, I never really felt so or I supposed I did but just a minor 1.. Nevertheless, it's a big difference now compared to the past.

I used to tell my friend "No pain no gain", and now thinking back.. I doubt I know the true meaning behind it at that point of time, haha..

Pressurized

Recently busy with lotsa works, many things need to think, ask, follow-up and decide.

Am handling a coming food fair, it's a good to experience the whole process but bearing the responsibilities and pressure is really unbrearable! Think of it while eating, think of it during working hours and after working hours, think of it during my leisure time, and even dream of it while sleeping.. I barely have good night rest in the night in previous weeks.

Throughout the process, I appreciate for colleagues' who has been giving me a helping hand, opinion, encourage and of course, I faced uncooperative and nasty colleagues.. thanks to them, now that I know who is worth to appreciate and who should be treaten with half-hearted!

All in all, I need to thank DD for giving me full support, valuable advice & time from the very beginning till now.. Thank you!

God bless me that the event will be successful!!!

Don't be a noob :P

I have no idea how it feels but I guess it must be hurting like hell when someone you loved doesn't know how much you loved him/her. When we tend to do something for someone, we don't look for 'payback' but we hope she/he could understand and feel it. How about if someone couldn't feel it yet suspecting it and asking you to give up after you have been trying so hard all this time?

When someone is telling you that he/she has never gave up on you, trying his/her very best to become someone you want with tears in his/her eyes, will your heart melt? How can you resist someone so adorable like this?

Don't be a noob, k! :P
Rush over and give him/her a warm hug and thank him/her for loving you!

Colleagues

Colleagues come and go & some good colleagues are just hard to say goodbye. No matter what, we still hope all the best for them in future undertaking...

Eventhough we are no longer working under a same company but good colleagues are worth to keep in touch and become friends to hang out with.

I hate colleagues who like to sow discord and wonder why can't we be sincere to each other?

Thigh

It's been almost a month not updating my blog, was busy with looking new jobs, busy with event/s which just over and another 1 is coming up soon.

For certain reason, I have stopped dieting for months and now, day after day I feel my thigh is getting fatter and fatter, ARGH. I don't dare to step on my weighing scale anymore!!! I scared I will faint when I see the "unexpected" number with my own eyes! I am kind of scared of the feeling getting heavier, pants/skirts getting tighter and the fats piling up in my body, espc my legs!!

Start from tomorrow onwards, I have to go back to dietingggggggggggggg, NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

Korea

I was surprised when my MD announced that we will have a company trip in this year and we are going to Korea, yay!!!

I have been thinking to visit Korea either in this year or next year (keep thinking and I believe in one day my dream will fulfill) :P My colleagues have been monitoring and discussing about the weather day after day… and guess the weather will be cold during our visit, below 10 Celsius! I’m still thinking should I bring along the long or short cold wear? I’ve just bought a pair of knitted glove, should I get a new knitted hat?

I hate to pack and unpack luggage when going overseas. Every time have to think of what to bring along and when I’m back from vacation, need to unpack and sort things out from the luggage is really a big headache!

Last night while talking on the phone with DD, I was surprised when he told me that he will give me S$500 packet money. I was asking myself this morning, was it real? Or I was just dreaming last night? Unbelievable, I don’t mean he isn’t good to me all this while but, never been this good to me before. He must had did something wrong behind my back! :P
Anyway, the thought counts and I really appreciate that a lot (if that’s real) :P

That’s really sweet and warm. Sweet and warm is not because the money but the feel of a woman being pampered by a man.

Observation

I like to observe people too, espc guys.

I observe from outside (appearance) to inside (etiquette).

Outside (appearance) ---> Tidiness
Inside (etiquette) ---> Body language, converse, attitude

I think I am inherited from my father, he doesn't like us to wear sandals when going out with him. I don't mind slopping dressing but at least has to be neat and of course very much depends on occasion/location.

I don't swear and I think guys with foul language is a big no-no, turn me off.
So, "you" don't swear so much, k :P

Sick

I feel so sick recently.

I am not sure what is wrong with me, but.. I feel I am getting from bad to worse. I can be emotionally erupted and upset suddenly when nothing is wrong. I can be easily boil over something trivial. When this happens everytime, I have to "communicate" with the inside me, tell myself I have to calm down. I always do and say something I don't mean it. I don't understand why I did that. I have been struggling over this again and again...

I always think I am having depression. I think I'm getting insane soon...

Are you mine?

I start to look forward to something when I care about someone. When I start to demand more and more, I start to put on pressure to him and myself. When something is not up to the par as what I’ve expected, I become frustrated and unreasonable. When something bad happens, I start to panic. I panic of losing that someone. I panic of losing the relationship. I become irrational.

In the past, I was afraid of losing a relationship because I wanted to “own him” and make him belong to me. I want someone to be there for me.

Now, that does not really matter to me, not because I don’t love him but I wish to share every bad and good with him. I wish we could enjoy the companionship.

Mad about myself

Falling in love with someone is easy. Accepting someone and “adjoin” him/her into your life is difficult. It’s no longer you, yourself anymore. It’s all about “us”.

Once, my colleague told me this… “You really feel down-to-earth when you have your own child/children. You will no longer think for yourself only. In fact, you will try to see the whole picture before you say something or make a decision”.

I always think from falling in love till getting married and living with someone is not easy, at all. There are lots of compromises, considerate, understandings and the most important factors are, accepting and giving with sincerity.

I admit that I am immature when come to disagreement. I focus too much on personal feeling instead of seeing the whole picture. I am too emotional and selfish. I disregard the importance of solving the dilemma together. I agree that turning my back on a problem, it will keep cropping up all over again, and again.

With all these, am I ready to settle down with someone? I always mad about myself when I know all these and yet I'm not doing anything to prevent or solve it... Argh!

Precious

Thank you is just not enough to express my gratitude to you =)

I love you, my precious.

CNY 2010

CNY is not really my favourite holiday but throughout the whole year, CNY is the holiday that I looking forward the most. I wish to go home to spend some time with family, especially my parents when I don't get to see them that often for past 6 years...

I must say that 2010's CNY is indeed boring, most of the time I stayed at home watching tv and dad only stayed in KL for 3 days+? And I haven't got the chance to "lou shang" with him yet till now, guess.. I have to wait for next CNY in 2011, sucks!

Why do we need to take turns to on leave??? The saddest moment is when I have to leave KL for SG and need to work in the next day! Perhaps, with this will only make us cherish the moment we spend at home with family... Looking forward to the next holiday to spend with family!

Ah D

I was shocked when I got to know Ah D was dead!

He was still all right, hyper active and running around when I just saw him in less than a month ago! How can I accept the fact that he has left us?? That's so sudden!!! Although I don't always play with him whenever I was at home but I'm so used to see him barking at me looked excited whenever I just got home...

I can't stop myself feeling bad and sad when I think of him suffering pain till death... tears keep rolling down my cheeks...

I hope he has gone to a better world for a better life... I will always miss you...

NIL

While I was preparing to cook my lunch (instant noodle) at the pantry, I was chatting with 1 of our tea ladies.

Live life to the fullest. Live for now, not tomorrow. Life is short, we should do whatever we wanted to... leave no regrets in future. This is what she told me... I guess everyone understand this but said is always easier than done, ain't it?

It's our lives, we should decide our own destiny.. but, sometimes... even so, we have no choice when comes to our parents, our life partner, our friends. We were taught to be responsible, be considerate, be thoughtful.

Yes, choice is ours. Having a choice is easy, making a decision is difficult.

Disagreement

It is not easy when comes to any "discussion".
A simple discussion can lead to confrontation and disagreement when you merely trying to speak out your mind. It is very important to choose the right words, not hurting anyone, the way you "present" your thoughts and the point you want your "opponent" to see.

I supposed no matter we are the speaker or the listener, we should consider and think in other people's shoe to prevent any unwanted misunderstanding. When we only acknowledge our own feeling and neglect others, I regard it as "irresponsible".

Let's try to learn how to handle matters in a mature way.

Indian Wedding

It was my first time attend an indian friend's wedding yesterday. I always looking forward to new things, experience something different which makes me feel great and excited! :P

I like sari, I like henna, I like anklet, I like their fiction stories about god.

Although I did not understand what was the whole wedding ceremony about, but.. it was a warm and nice one =)

Maybe I should expect to attend a Malay wedding ceremony next time? :P

Potluck

I had never been to any potluck gathering before. It was fun to prepare your own food and share with everyone, especially when your friends like your food!

It was my first making the konnyaku jellies and I was so worried that we will not succeed! Thanks god all my efforts was paid off (hafta thank to my assistant too :P)

I was a bit anxious as I don't really know most of them. Luckily the gathering was fine, in fact it was really really fun and I actually enjoyed it a lot! Looking forward to the next one~ =)

Feels good!

Although I don't get to see you day-in day-out, but it is good to have you around, always.

The distance is so much nearer now and I feel great!
Whenever we wanted to see each other, just one call away. How nice! Hehe :P