I start to look forward to something when I care about someone. When I start to demand more and more, I start to put on pressure to him and myself. When something is not up to the par as what I’ve expected, I become frustrated and unreasonable. When something bad happens, I start to panic. I panic of losing that someone. I panic of losing the relationship. I become irrational.
In the past, I was afraid of losing a relationship because I wanted to “own him” and make him belong to me. I want someone to be there for me.
Now, that does not really matter to me, not because I don’t love him but I wish to share every bad and good with him. I wish we could enjoy the companionship.
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